Why do we hold on?

Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to.......

Tiara is an attractive young lady in her late twenties. Though she has been approached by many who want to spend their lives with her, she is still single. She is clung to her old memories, memories of the one she thinks she loves. Whenever any guy tries to befriend her, she puts a wall around her. She treats them like intruders.

Why isn’t she able to give other guys a chance to know her? Who knows that if she does, she might even find yet another ‘perfect’ man? Just like her previous one?

But she doesn’t because she is so comfortable in the memories of her previous love and doesn’t want anyone to take her away from those memories. What she doesn’t realize is that memories, just like the person in it, fade away slowly with time.

Maybe it is because when you think you really love “the one” that lives in your past, you tend to compare any tom, dick and harry that you meet, with him. Comparison makes you unable to accept a new person in your life. You feel that there is really no point in making new connections. You’d rather try and make amendments with a person that you already know and with whom you are so comfortable.

And so, whenever a new person tries to know you, you’re like “sorry, no vacancy in my heart. Move on”…

Ironically, nostalgia isn’t what it used to be, everything changes with time, even the memories. So instead of just clinging to the thoughts of the one you think you love, it’s better to let people come into your life. You might not always end up meeting great people but isn’t life supposed to be full of experiences? And doesn’t the very thought of exploring and getting to know new people intrigue you? Don’t you want more than cushioned feet??

When the poet in me surfaces...!!

I have many sides to me, unlike a coin that has only 2 sides. Among the many sides of me, a poet is one of them...she is a bad poet though!

Last night, the poet in me rose, wrote a few lines and then diminished...Below is what she wrote before she diminished....!!

I give attention to you, you ignore me

I ignore you, you give attention to me…..

I mean, what is this all about??

If you love me say it

If you don’t, you can still say it…

But why don’t you say anything??

I go far from you, you pull me

I pull you to me, you go far away…

Why but why??

When I love you, you don’t

When I don’t, you love me…

Will you ever know your feelings??

And will I never know your feelings??!!

Of the world and its people..!!

This is a new kind of post that I'm going to do from now on. Since a very long time, people have always intrigued me. And I'm sure I've intrigued others too..:)

I have this habit of looking at people and trying to think what they must be thinking, why they do what they do...Some of them I've been able to understand, some of them I couldn't....The people that I'm going to write about are the ones I haven't been able to understand...

She was an employee in our office. I think she was around 35-37 years of age. I am bad at guessing ages so not very sure about that. She had come to our floor twice to teach yoga for 15 minutes. It was a stress buster yoga that we could practice in our cubicles. We named her Sunitha Didi, I don’t exactly remember her real name, I never felt the need to know.

But she intrigued me. Today I randomly remembered her so thought of writing it down. Someday I might think of her and smile.

She looked like a typical social worker who goes out to the villages and teaches the village kids. That’s why we had named her Sunitha Didi. She had a funny way of dressing. She wore a collared T-shirt with lose pants that looked like track pants and wore sports shoes. She always smiled at people who passed her. I don’t know if that’s her nature or because she almost knew everyone in the office. She was very thin and maybe that’s the reason why her pants were loose. Or maybe she liked it that way.

It was Independence Day and we had a theme to wear dresses that had any of the 3 colors of the Indian Flag. Being a person who loved to dress up and also someone who loved colors, I was dressed up in an orange T-shirt and Green pants. My nail polish also had orange and green on alternate fingers. I was strictly following the tri-color theme.

I had a stomach cramp and had fainted in office. A wheel chair was brought to take me to the cab so that I could be taken to a hospital. While being carried to the wheel chair I had regained my consciousness but was unable to walk because of the cramps. People had gathered around to see what had happened to me.

Then Sunitha Didi arrives at the spot. “Wow, what a different way of putting nail polish. Orange and Green, nice”. She says and walks off.....

I wonder what she was thinking!!!!

My farewell email to Tesco..!!

As I sit down to write this, my mind suddenly turns blank (not that it isn’t blank the rest of the times). I had a million thoughts about what I would be writing on my farewell note but now when the time has come for me to jot it down, I can’t think of any...

I faintly remember the time when I first walked into the Tesco campus for my interview. There I was, dressed in torn denim capris, a torn Rockstar T-shirt, sports shoes with a sports wrist band (don’t know what I was thinking when I wore it but I think it was a trend then) with a blank look on my face looking here and there, observing other people and feeling like an alien...That was more than 5 years back....

A lot of things have changed since then...

I’ll be leaving behind a lot of memories. As they say, “Memories are the only things that never change even if people do”.

The best moments in my life have been spent here, I’ve made my best friends here and I’ve found love here. Whoever said “office colleagues cannot be your friends” is a myth (at least for me) and also people who said that “office can’t be fun”.

The next few lines that I’m gonna write should be overlooked by the Managers and anyone to do with the administration of Tesco as I’m gonna reveal some of the crazy things me and my friends did during my tenure here:

·         While we worked on the weekends we turned the floor into a dance floor and we (sorry I) have danced on table tops, in front of the CEO’s office, played loud music and did some “porki” moves

·         We played hide and seek on the floor

·         I’ve had my hair cut in the lawn (yes, one of our friends was a beautician) and lucky the security guy never noticed us

·         When we had no work on weekends, we used the HR interview (SSC block 2^nd floor) room as our place to take an afternoon nap. The sofas are really comfortable I tell you.. J. Moral of the story- it’s best to work on weekends provided your Managers think otherwise

·         Some of our guy friends sometimes posed as HR’s when there were some interviews happening over the weekend (they targeted only pretty girls though)

·         We’ve come to office after having a drink...(Thank God they don’t machines to check the alcohol levels)

·         We’ve watched movies during office hours on the floor by keeping a computer on one of the cubicle tops and 5-6 of us watching it together.

Well, these are just some of the things I did which are tell-able (ignore the wrong English), the others are un-tell-able... J

I’m guessing most of you might want to know (though most of you already know) why am I quitting such a peaceful job and what I intend to do next (I might sound like a snob here but c’mon, this is MY farewell note and I think I have all the right to feel like a celebrity for once)... Well, these are some of the things I want to do after I quit Tesco:-

·         Study hard and find a Govt. Job (this is solely what my parents want)

·         Complete my half completed book (some of you would be surprised but yes, I’m halfway to completing my book, please do buy it if it gets published)

·         Do some travelling here and there and visit my long lost friends (within India)

·         Be a full time blogger (http://yellowtitlee.blogspot.in/ ). Do follow me on my blog. Though I don’t guarantee that you’ll like what you read

·         Spend more time on Facebook .. J

·         Do some part time jobs like event management, work in a cloth store or maybe a fast food joint, do things that I’d always wanted to do but couldn’t due to the lack of time.. The list is never ending...!!!

I guess some of you are already bored half way through reading my note. Some of you might even be saying “who wants to know what you are and what you intend to do?” but who cares? I’m gonna say it anyway (typical Leo that I am, I will say what I want to).. J

I’m almost done but below are some of the things I want to HIGHLIGHT:-

·         I LOVE you all.. I really do... I’m gonna MISS each one of you.. I’m gonna miss the romantic campus of Tesco, the fun I had here.. the jokes we laughed at, the sorrows we shared.. the good friends I made...

·         Even though I wouldn’t have done it intentionally, I would certainly have hurt someone in some way or the other.. So please FORGIVE me for anything that I did or said which would have hurt you...

·         I hope I don’t become one of those “out of sight, out of mind” people... Hope that all of you will keep me in your heart and in your prayers... and I’ll do the same...

·         Keep in touch... whenever there’s a PARTY happening, call me and I’ll be there.. J For those who don’t have my number, it’s.... and whenever you need a place to party remember, my home is always AVAILABLE...!!

·         Don’t forget to wish me on my BIRTHDAY (31^st July).. even if you do forget, Facebook will forcefully remind you, so there’s no escaping...if I’m not on your friend list yet, you can add me on my email which is ......

Well, there might have been times when I’ve hurt people but there’s been times when people have hurt me by their comments as well. But all I want to say is  “I came, I enjoyed and now I’m leaving”. No bad feelings, no bitter memories and all I’ll be taking is a heart full of good memories and still wondering “why do we say good bye when there is nothing good about them? L

Finally (I can hear many of you saying Phewwww..!! and did I say that my mind was blank when I started writing this?) I end my note with a famous saying by some anonymous person...

“THERE ARE NO GOODBYES... ONLY SEE YOU LATER’S...!!!!

P.S –For those who are gonna miss me really bad, there’s just one thing I would like to say... “I AM NOT GOOD WITH GOOD BYES SO LET’S JUST THINK THAT WE’RE PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK AND I’M JUST GONNA BE A LITTLE HARD TO FIND”.....

Hair Flair...!!

Jim Morrison once said  "Some of my worst mistakes in life have been haircuts".... How could he say what I have always wanted to say?? 

Bangalore, as a city has many things to boast about. But if you are a fashion freak, you will dread about 2 things here. First, the beauty salons here are not great and second, you will never find a good tailor to make those sexy blouses that you crave for. And this is strictly for people like me who are fashion conscious but is on a limited budget always. 

In this post, I will be talking only about salons. Next post will definitely be on good tailors in Bangalore.

Ever since I've stepped in Bangalore in 2004, my worst nightmares have been my terrible hair cuts. For someone who looks at the mirror quite often, I get bored to see the same face over and over again. Since there is very little I can do to change my face, I at least try to change my hair styles quite often. Though each time, I'm only disappointed. 

Though always on a tight budget, I did try out some expensive options like Lakme, Naturals, Limelite, etc. I did think of trying out Javed Habib's salon but hearing about the prices I stopped thinking about it. Even cheaper options didn't work out for me. Many times I've been a laughing stock due to my terrible hair cuts. Not that I cared!

But to my luck, just recently, I discovered an amazing salon in Banaswadi, Bangalore. It's called "APHRODYT" and is owned by a guy named as Vinay. He is an expert in hair cuts, it seems he learned the trade from Thailand. I strongly recommend this salon and especially him. If awesome hair cut is all you want, you should specifically ask for him. 

This place is reasonably priced and they offer really good services. Be it normal threading or waxing or other services like hair coloring, straightening, hair spa or dandruff treatments, the services are world class and worth every penny that you spend. I've always been satisfied with their service and have used almost all of it, except the services meant for men.

Yes, it's an Unisex salon and guys can visit as well. So girls, the next time you need to visit a parlor, you can bring your boy along and he will thank you for it.. :)

The place is crowded sometimes and so you might have to wait a little longer than usual. But trust me, it's worth the wait. And yes, if you are on a tight budget wash your hair before yo visit this place as they charge you extra for the hair wash. College girls, this place is a must visit if you would like to sport that trendy hair style and that new hair color in the market. This place always stocks the latest products in hair styling.

I have included some pictures of the hair cuts that me and my sister got it done from this place below:

So, what are you waiting for????

P.S- This is not a paid post. I'm sure the guy doesn't even know I blog..

In love with...my nails..!!

The last message

“We agreed we would never be together….

             You reasoned we could not be together….

But love for me is not like the weather

That keeps changing but a bond that is joined forever…..

I love you so I will let you go…

Not because I want to but because you do…..

But one day when you start missing me, please don’t blame me…

Because I didn’t leave you….

You wanted me to let you go…!!!!!"

Wind beneath my wings!

He was the only one for whom I have true feelings….

He was the only one who loved me leaving aside other beings…

I was like a butterfly…

Who flew all day long, happy, contented and strong...

I don't know if I ever cared about other things

But he was the wind beneath my wings….!!

P.S- Thoughts of a girl whose love left her.

Why I write...

• Because I have a bad memory and someday I'm sure I'm gonna have Alzheimer's...
• Because the voices in my head can't wait to come out. They itch more than the dandruff in the scalp...
• Because I love to see my name on every thing that I own....
• Because I love attention and if I don't get it, this is the only way....
• Because I imagine faces, figures in the clouds, cracks of walls...Since I don't draw, this is my way to express...
• Because I love exclamation marks!!!! They express me so well and this is the only way I can show my love for them...
• Because Durjoy Datta and Chetan Bhagat and a lot others do too....
• Because when I wrote a farewell email, I got a lot of appreciation from people which is when I realised I could write....
• Because those little things, those little moments of life should be brought to life...
• Because I love those colorful pens and how they look awesome on paper...
• Because I can't express my feelings better in any other way....

But just because I write I can't claim to be a good writer. I just write because I like it. Whether you like it or not, TUMHARI MARZEE!!!! :)

The One You Cannot Have

No, no no.! I'm not in melancholy while I'm writing this, I'm just in a "Damn it" mood.

Yesterday, I found myself walking down to Sapna Book House in Indiranagar after work. A great book idea had come to my mind and I thought I should pen it down before I lost the thought. And I am a "Nakhrey-waali" writer. Before I write down anything, I need a colorful notebook. God! I'm so obsessed with colors. So, I thought I would get a brand new, colorful notebook and then start writing... :) The next moment I was in the book store. 

I thought I would just pick up a notebook quickly and get going. But a pack of colorful pens grabbed my attention. I grab it. I feel so nice. Then I go through a lot of notebooks and a MTV notebook took my heart away. I grab it too. I should get going, I thought to myself but wait, should I go upstairs and check out some books? No. Because whenever I see the whole lot of books stacked up there I get demotivated to write. There are so many books waiting to catch the attention of readers that I think no one would ever read my book. That is if I manage to write one. I close one eye because I don't want to get influenced by seeing a lot of books. I find a huge guy staring at me. Check out the books, you moron. I feel like telling him.

"The One You Cannot Have"- By Preeti Shenoy. This book caught my attention. The title of the book related to some part in me. So I pick the book up and go through the last page. I kind of liked it. Without thinking much I buy it. I pay the bill and rush off from the store. I take an auto, sit back and ponder.

I'm happy with myself. I feel proud. Wah, what an idea for a book. I'm gonna write an awesome book. I should start writing it as soon as I reach home. I gather some thoughts while on the journey inside the auto. I can't wait to reach home. It took me almost half an hour to reach. By that time I had gathered enough thoughts, that's what I thought..:)

I reach home. Immediately I tear off the seal from the copy, opened the pen packet, grab a pink pen and started writing. I didn't even care to change my clothes. After an hour I managed to write just about 2 pages and my think tank was almost empty. I stopped.

I changed my clothes. I started cooking. I watch some TV. I have my dinner and then I thought I will just read the book that I bought before sleeping. Till then I had forgotten all about the book that I had bought.

I open it and start reading. After reading a page I suddenly flipped through all the pages quickly and Damn it! The book that I was going to write (or what I have already wrote, just that the book only had 2 pages) almost had the same idea. Damn, Damn, Damn. I kept repeating it to myself.

I sleep off having lost the zeal to read the book or write my own book. Morning I wake up, think over it and then decide "I'm gonna write the book anyway"...But if one day I complete it and it happens to get published, please don't say that I was influenced by Preeti Shenoy's book. I'll be hurt.

I read more pages of the book this morning and realised that the basic idea is same like mine but my characters are going to be different. Because book is not about ideas but you you bring the characters into life. I'm feeling a bit motivated already... :) :) :) Feeling good.

P.S : I shall give a review of the Preeti Shenoy's book after I'm done reading it.